Monday, March 29, 2010

I'm getting better at this whole listening thing....I think

My sister in-law told me something today that really made me kind of upset. Not because she said anything wrong, but because what she said was exactly right, and I didn't want to hear it. I didn't throw a fit or anything immature, ;) but when our conversation ended, I knew she had told me something about myself that was true, and that I'm going to have to change. And that wasn't exactly.....fun.

We were talking about the relationship I have with my dad, and I told her that it's not my responsibility to show my dad what it looks like to be respectful. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's not my responsibility to respect my dad. I'm saying that it was his job to treat his family and those around him with respect, so that in return, we (his children) would know what it looked like to respect others, and in doing so, he would not only earn our respect, but show us what it looked like to respect him. Does that make sense? When you're a six year old little girl being screamed and cussed at by your father about how you don't respect him enough, call me crazy, but that doesn't naturally evoke in me, a desire to respect him. Nor does it show me how to. All that does is show me how undeserving that person is of anyone's respect. Maybe that's harsh...And maybe it's not true, but either way, that's how I've always felt.
Anyways, back to our conversation. I told her how I felt about the matter of respecting him, and about my "six years old being screamed at by my father experience", and you know what she told me?

She told me, "That might fly when your six, but you're almost 18 now, and God has shown you what it looks like to respect others. Now it's your job to do so, weather or not your dad ever taught you. It's your job to be who God has called you to be, and that means showing your dad respect, whether or not he does the same for you in return."

F. She's right. I hate that.

But in all honesty, I'm so glad she had the guts to tell me that. After thinking about all of this today I came to the realization of just how blessed I am to have a few people in my life that aren't afraid to give me constructive criticism. Turns out it can be a good thing. Who knew, right?! ;)

Don't get me wrong though--There's definitely a BIG difference between constructive criticism, and just trying to get your own selfish point across during those moments where you think you know everything. And I'm definitely guilty of the second one.

I read something today that I thought was really cool. It was said in a very different context then how I read it, but I think it's true non the less.

"Life, and the perception we have of it, changes quickly."

2 comments:

Anna Kristine said...

Hey....I do care about your thoughts...it's my evil computer that careth not.
It makes me so happy to hear when people are able to recognize truth even when it's coming from the last person you would want to hear it from. I think that's the key to listening to criticism. Listen...and apply the truth. It's not easy...but we are so blessed by doing that. So Beckah...you will be blessed. :) I'm proud of you for listening and accknowledging the truth. It's a sure sign of maturity.
Love you little B! See you in the morning. :)

chris and annie said...

Becks, I still comment on your blog, see? I just didn't know you had updated it recently:)
So....It was funny, I was reading the first paragraph of your entry here, and thinking, yeah, well, Beckah knows that she needs to move past being six and the bitterness that could form on her heart if she holds onto this, and treats her dad the way he treats her rather than functioning in the fruit of the spirit as God would be pleased by this, and then I came to the second or third paragraph, where you came to accept the wisdom, and I sighed, thinking, wow. This is an amazing almost 18-year old....some 40 year olds still struggle with receiving correction and words of "constructive criticism"....and here you GET it. I am just so proud of you, girl. You are lovely, and you hear from the Lord, and you listen. You are loved!!!!
xoxoxoxox...annie