Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Am I old enough for this?

I remember riding in the back seat of the family car when my brother was learning to drive. He’s 7 years older than me, so I’ve watched him go through lots of life’s different stages a few years before myself, all the while making lots of mental notes if those same events ever happened in my life.I didn’t think I’d ever be old enough to drive. I don’t think that’s because I thought I wouldn’t live that long, but for some reason I’ve always had a difficult time imagining myself doing things that I perceive to be “adult activities.” However, as I got closer to being old enough for my permit, it seemed more and more imaginable to me that soon, I’d be transported into this magical adult world where driving was not only something I could do, but something I would need to do, that would transport me even further into this new world.

After that it was my first real job that made me feel like I was actually starting to grow up. I had a checking account, a car, roommates, and a cellphone. When did all this happen? “I’m not old enough for this.”

Then this real job turned into something I both loved and hated simultaneously. My car was breaking down, my roommates were irritating, and my cell phone was expensive. When did this happen? 
Wasn't I just a little kid the other day, feeling alone and nervous that I wasn't old enough for any of these responsibilities? And now I’m searching for another job?  Another car? Other roommates? Unfortunately I'm in a stupid contract for this phone.... “I’m definitely not old enough for this.”

“His name is Mike, here’s his card. He’s looking to hire someone for an administrative position at his company, and I told him about you. You should call him this week.” We were car shopping for a new car for my mom when my dad told me about his friend Mike, who was a manager at a local software company. “I don't know the first thing about office work…did you tell him that?” “Yes, and he’d like to hear from you.”

A day or so later I stepped outside of my
not so real job making salsa, to call this Mike person. He said a lot of things I didn’t understand, and I told him I could do them all. I asked him if he’d like to see my very unimpressive resume, and he said yes, so I made plans to drive out to “the gray unmarked hanger at the Bend Airport with the red truck parked out front.”

“There’s no way. 
I'm not qualified in any way for this job. I'm a homeschool dropout who failed my GED and makes salsa and works at Shopko. Who even knew it was possible to be a homeschool drop out anyway? I bet you I'm the first.” I was talking to my best friend who had a job interview for another company in town the same day that I would be dropping my resume off. I fully expected to drop it off and never hear a word. I wasn't qualified, and he'd see that clearly on my resume, so I didn't see the point in being too nervous about it. I had nothing to lose.

“As you can see, I have absolutely no experience in any of the areas you're looking for.” I handed him my resume and sat down as his desk in this unmarked gray hanger at the Bend Airport. He didn't have an office, he was surrounded by other desks and people on computers and phones. I could feel their stares as I timidly walked in and sat down, all of them wondering who I was and if he’d be hiring me. “That’s okay, he said, I'm not looking for someone with experience, I'm looking for someone who’s willing to learn what I want to teach them.”

And just like that, I immediately realized I had a shot at getting this job, and I was terrified. I hadn't prepared for this. Did I look okay? I covered my tattoo, right? Okay good. Oh crap…now it matters what I say. What if I say the wrong thing? I told him I was capable of doing all those things he explained to me that I still don't understand…oh hell. I'm screwed. I have something to lose now...

don't remember anything else he said to me. He got up from his desk and walked me around this very odd makeshift office building, introducing me to people as we passed by.
“Here’s where your desk will be, next to David. He’s the head of our training department.”

…Did he just say, “Where my desk
will be?” Have I not ruined this yet? Am I getting this job? This Dave guy looks nice,  I don't think I'd be too nervous around him...I’m feeling calmer already. Oh thank God, he has tattoos. I’m not alone! Oh crap, he’s talking to me..

Mike introduced me to a few other people and then told me to put in my two weeks’ notice at Shopko, because I had a new job working for him.

“Am I old enough for this?”

That was 3 years ago.

It turns out that I really could do all those things he explained to me that I 
didn't understand, and more. It turns out I could be a lot more than I thought I could at this job in the odd hanger at the Bend Airport. And now, 3 years later, in a real office building, sitting at my real desk, I can see how God was working through all of those events and lots more, and I'm humbled and amazed.

Turns out, that David guy was really nice. In fact, he’s the nicest man I've ever met. More selfless than anyone I've ever known, patient, gracious, funny, kind, handsome, generous. The list goes on and on.

3 years ago I had no idea that God was not only leading me to this new job that I needed so badly, but  more importantly, to the man I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. The man who is without doubt, God's greatest gift to me outside of my salvation.

3 Years ago, I had no idea that God was drawing this man to me, but most importantly, to Himself. 

Going back to those “Adult things”, I'm now 80 days away from marrying my best friend. 
And let me tell you, I'm definitely not old enough for this, but I couldn't be more excited. I never thought I'd get married. I hoped I would, but I never really thought much about it, or imagined it would actually happen. But here I sit, waiting very impatiently for August 15th, when I'll get to promise to spend the rest of my life with this incredible man that I don't even come close to deserving.