a blog I wrote a long time ago but never posted...

"I am scared
I'm afraid
Mercy me
With Your grace
My heart said in brokenness
I want to see Your face
Don't You hide
Don't You leave
Don't You turn
Away from me

‘Cause if You go I'll be forsaken
Who will be my souls salvation

Lord, hear my cry, hear my heart
Here I come to where You are
I'll be there for You
You'll be there for me
Lord, though I'm weak, You are strong
So I'll go back where I belong
And You'll be there for me
I'll be there for You
You'll be there for me

Answer me
In my place
You told me
To seek Your face
My heart spoke with heaviness
Your face I will seek
Don't give up
Don't forget
Remember me
I won't quit
What good am I if I'm not taken
And who am I without salvation

Lord, hear my cry, hear my heart
Here I come to where You are
I'll be there for You
You'll be there for me
Lord, though I'm weak, You are strong
So I'll go back where I belong
And You'll be there for me
I'll be there for You
You'll be there for me"

These are the lyrics to a song by Above The Golden State called "Scared"
It's a pretty awesome song. I don't know about you, but its such a familiar prayer for me. Not word for word of course, but the feeling of failure and worry of the consequences that you fear will inevitably follow, is something I'm familiar with. But I realize more and more that its in those times when you can really feel Gods love. Its in those times that you become truly thankful that Christ paid the ultimate price for your sin. Its mind blowing. I think of all the mistakes I make and all the times where, knowing full well that what I was doing was wrong, I did it anyway. I always think of this quote when I fall short: "When you flee temptation, don't leave a forwarding address." How often do we give into temptation and then swear that we'll never do it again only to put ourselves right back in the same situation that got us there in the first place? It's funny how when we want to do something sinful we'll forsake all knowledge of it being wrong, and not take the exits God says he provides. We somehow convince ourselves that it's not sin, or "God made me this way", or something equally ridiculous. Who knows...Human nature is a funny thing.